Replies from the people of Bangladesh regarding the application for the Prime Minister position in Bangladesh.
Sheikh Hasina Wazed
Dear Mrs. Wazed:
Congratulations. We are happy to inform you that your employment application for the position of Prime Minister of Bangladesh has been accepted.
You have been accepted to lead the country on a five-year contract employment basis.
During the application review process, we considered your previous employment history from 1996 to 2001, and your performance during that period. Upon review, we found that you did an adequate job.
But don’t get too elated. To be honest, the applicant pool was rather thin this year. Your toughest competition came from your immediate past predecessor, who left such a wide swath of destruction around her that we had no trouble making up our mind and rejecting her; after which there was only you left to be picked.
Given your predecessor’s performance, note that we will keep a very close watch on you and your cohorts, and we will exercise our option to remove you at the expiry of the contract if your job performance is not adequate.
We do sincerely hope that you will not disappoint us. If you do, learn from your rival what fate awaits you.
One suggestion: go easy on trumpeting 1996-2001 as the ‘golden era’. We still remember that Bangladesh landed at the top of the list of corrupt countries during that tenure for the first time.
On election night, there were reports of violence perpetrated by your supporters. This is the time to rein them in, or you will forever lose control of them.
But let us focus on the future and positive outcomes. Know that we wish you well and hope for your success in the future.
Voters of Bangladesh
Mrs. Khaleda Zia
Dear Mrs. Zia:
We regret to inform you that your employment application for the position of Prime Minister of Bangladesh has been denied.
During the application review process, we considered your previous employment history from 2001 to 2006, and your performance during that period. Upon review, we found that not only you did not do a good job, you brought along relatives who stole from people and profited at the expense of this country.
You also underperformed as manager–you hired people with little skill based on their friendship with your son, and let them flaunt the laws and regulations at will.
Your government landed Bangladesh at the top of the list of corrupt countries four years in a row.
Lastly, you allowed, with your full consent and knowledge, the establishment and growth of a colony of blood-sucking leeches also known as Jamaat, and their even more dangerous cousins, HUJI and JMB. You and your ministers denied the existence of a terrorist named Bangla Bhai, and your ministers directly aided and abetted this extremist.
As such, we are awarding the job to another candidate better suited for the position.
Please note that this denial is not final: you are welcome to apply for the job again in five years when it becomes available again, but you have to prove that you are better than the incumbent if you wish to gain employment.
Until then, we wish you well and hope that you will use this time constructively for the betterment of your governance and managerial skills, and not on destructive practices such as hartals, etc.
Voters of Bangladesh
J @ Shada Kalo [http://shadakalo.blogspot.com] writes using a pseudonym and is best known for exposing government, military, corporate foul plays through whistle-blowing investigative reports.
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